My vacation really sucked!! My brother was gone for the whole thing and when he got back all he wanted to do was cause problems and make a scene....i mean the whole reason that he left was so we wouldn't have to put up with his shit....pretty soon we are planning on sending him to a catholic boarding school....he actually wants to go too...(he has no idea waht he is getting himself into) i saw the schedual and it looks tough....he thinks that it is all going to be fun and games...i almost cut myself again last night because i am so stressed out and i just want to fell relieved...my mom walked in to talk to me before i could....i was so relieved...i talked to her for almost two hours and we both cried because even though is just my adoptive mom she knows what i am going throough...i have just come to realize that my biological mother doesn't love me and doesn't want to have anything to do with me....it hurts so bad and i don't want to let go of the small amount of hope i have...i keep hoping that one day she will love me as much as she loves my brother....i know that will never happen and thats the hard part...i don't want to know that....she is my MOTHER and she doesn't want to have anything to do with me...i am trying to grasp the fact that i do have two wonderful MOM's who will be willing to do anything for me and love me the way that i want to be loved...i want to be loved but at the moment i want it to be from my mother not my moms....i jsut want that mother daughter relationship that i never had....i know i can have it and in the years to come i think that i will be able to accept the fact that i don't need my mother because i have TWO mom's who are willing to love me the way that i want and have never been able to experience.....sorry to go on and on but all i need to do is vent right now